Inviting Children To Your Wedding

The wedding guest list  can be a bit of a minefield for some couples. And one the contentious areas may be whether to invite people’s children along to your wedding. Personally, I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to this question, but you do have to make a decision (hopefully without falling out).This post is going to be a bit of a discussion around inviting children to your wedding. My hope is that it will help you make your mind up if this is proving to be a dilemma when writing your wedding guest list.

Making a Decision

So the first thing I’d say is it’s your wedding.

It is totally up to you and your husband/wife-to-be what you decide to do about including kids in your wedding. Try not to feel pressured by friends and family on this (and the guest list in general). Everyone will have their opinion, you can listen to them but  you don’t have to agree with them.

There are a whole range of things that might factor in your decision about having children at your wedding:

  • Firstly, the type of wedding you’re having. If you’re dream is to have a laid-back family wedding, then including kiddies should be pretty easy. But if you’re planning an elegant evening nuptials, then having a troop of little ones running around the place probably doesn't fit what you had in mind. A formal occasion is unlikely to be much fun from the kids point of view either.
  • The biggest influence is probably going to be your budget, and the resulting number of guest you want to invite. Inviting everyone's children could double your guest list. And while you’ll probably pay less to feed a child than an adult, it could still be a considerable part of your budget. You might also need to provide extra entertainment and facilities if there are going to be children around, so don’t forget to include those in your budget.
  • Treat children like you would any other guest when you’re writing you guest list. Consider how well you know the child? You may happily include the children of close family and friends who you spend time with. But this doesn’t mean you have to invite people's kids who you've never met, at the expense of having to sacrifice other guests. It is OK to invite some children but not all.
  • I think it’s pretty reasonable to assume that parents will be able to arrange care for children while they are at your wedding, But for babies this might not be possible, especially if they’re being breastfeed, so try to be understanding of this. Also babies shouldn't need feeding, so including them won't take the place of another guest.

If you’re looking for more help writing you wedding guest list, check out our previous post on the topic by clicking here. It includes our Wedding Guest List Starter Guide and Spreadsheet, to get you on the right track.

Once You’ve Made Your Mind Up

Once you have made your decision about the children on your guest list, make it really clear on the invites what the situation is. If people’s kids aren’t invited, you could add a friendly worded note to the invitation explaining why.

When the RSVP’s start coming back, beware that some people might try to squeeze their kids on to the RSVP. They may be innocently making the assumption that their kiddies were included, or they might just be cheeky buggers.

Whatever your decision about having children at your wedding, you’ll probably get a range of reactions from your guests. Some people may actually be glad to leave their kids with the grandparents/babysitter to have some ‘adult time’. We invited many of our friends children to our wedding, but quite a few decided not to bring them so they could let their hair down.

On the flip side, there may be some guests that are unhappy their kids aren’t invited. They may even decide not to accept your invitation because of this. I think that people who really care about you will try to understand your decision, and will happily come to your wedding to celebrate with you without their children. Those who don’t, well they probably aren’t the right people to be at your wedding anyway and it’s their loss.

Happy planning!

Hannah x

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HannahInviting Children To Your Wedding

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